ReImagining Work Relationships(tm)

Managers: What Do You Know Now That You Wish You Knew Then?

Mary — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:12:49 +0000

“As a manager/leader of people, what do know now, that you wish you knew when you started?”

I recently posted this question in a number of groups on LinkedIn to get a discussion going on management development. I’m getting lots of great answers, like this one from Steve Ibanez of NY (used with his permission).

“Having come up through the ranks in a technical field, the hardest thing for me to learn was that having the answer isn’t always the best response”

and these:

“nothing prepared me for [the] importance of building relationships“

“being respected is more important than being liked“

I’m getting such great answers, I wanted to expand the discussion. How about you?

As a manager/leader of people, what do know now, that you wish you knew when you started?

Please take a few minutes to comment below, or join the discussion at Twitter, using the hashtag #knownow.

OaPS (Oh, and PS)

Just how did you learn all those things you know now? Part of it came from your natural inclinations and abilities. If you haven’t yet taken the opportunity to find out your own unique “People Management Personality(tm),” you can still order it (at no cost) here. Don’t miss out on being one of the 1st 25 people who will get their biggest question answered about their own profile, again, at no cost.

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How Management is Like Being in the Cast of “Jersey Shore”

Mary — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 21:41:03 +0000

I actually received a threat when I proposed this blogpost. One of my colleagues told me that she didn’t want anything to do with equating our work to… (picture a disapproving frown) “Jersey Shore.” But hold up. Give me a minute and it will make sense.

Let me be open from the outset. I’ve not actually seen an episode of Jersey Shore. All I have is impressions I’ve picked up from Entertainment Weekly and probably Joel Stein. That said, the Jersey Shore cast strikes me as a group of people in a world of their own making, with special emphasis on self-absorption.

What does this have to do with management? I think at any given moment we as managers can run the risk of getting caught up in a contrived world − a world where the choice to look good crowds out working on meaningful priorities − or where we agree to things that don’t seem quite right because we don’t want to seem stupid − or we don’t want to be the only one speaking up and throwing a wrench in things. Really, it doesn’t take much to create that contrived world where craziness looks sane and sanity looks crazy. It can get to the point where maintaining appearances or jumping for stuff that seems important is reality.

My buddy Joe Gerstandt recently wrote a post suggesting we need more bravery in our leadership. Yes, bravery. I see bravery needed particularly when we are faced with a naked emperor and everyone else is saying, “Looking good,” along with a requisite thumbs-up sign. What if you choose instead to challenge that contrived reality?

I’m going to stop right here because I think you can come up with even more relevant comparisons to the latest reality show. I’m only writing this as a caution (and I thought it would be fun). Where are you perhaps getting caught up in the hype, the “looking good,” at the expense of the business, your employees or your own integrity?

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Do Makeovers Belong in Management?

Mary’s 7 Ways to Be a New Leader to Your Employees (No Makeover Required)

Mary — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:02:58 +0000

My buddy, Joe Gerstandt, and I are plunging headlong into the new year with yet more Q&A posts. Here’s our latest installment.

JOE: We both talk about new ways of leadership in our work…for you, what are some examples of what that actually looks like?

MARY: Great question. I’m into lists this week, so what I’ve crafted is, “Mary’s Seven Ways to Be a New Leader to Your Employees.” (No makeover required.)

Make decisions as if people matter. Biz doesn’t exist in a vacuum. How do you think all this stuff happens? Your computers or lab equipment don’t care if you hit quarterly goals. You might as well leverage your resources you have who might give a darn (i.e. Humans). BTW, you do that by meeting basic Human needs at work. Ignore – at your own peril – the fact that you have Human beings as your employees.

Talk to your employees as if they matter. Try to keep in mind what it is like to be an employee, because after all, even if you are a manager, you ARE STILL an employee too. Think about what ‘ees would be concerned with and show them you considered them in your thought process.

Be impeccable with your word. (Thank you Don Miguel Ruiz). If you say you are going to do something, large or small, do it. Your employees are watching. They WANT to trust you. Give them a reason to. It helps to tell them when you are following up on something you promised, e.g. “I’m doing this thing as a result of our talk last week.”

Talk to people like you are a Human being. People can see through stalling and spin. If you can’t discuss a matter, say so. Anticipate questions from your ‘ees point of view, and practice. You may have to work with your response for awhile to ensure it’s authentic, sincere and respectful of their intelligence. Don’t shortchange this. (If you have any more questions on this, see point 1.)

Care about them understanding what you’re telling them. “The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits” (NLP – Yes, I’m studying NLP right now…). Why do we think we’ve communicated when we drop people an email? And asking, “Do you understand” is fruitless. Who wants to look like a nincompoop by saying “no?” Or how do you know they understand the way you need them to? Ask them what they heard you say, or what they are going to do based on what you said, to test understanding.

Get over yourself and be open to what works. “Leading is changing your behaviors so the other person follows.” We wouldn’t put water in our car when it needs oil, and expect it to perform. Why do we disdain and resist what Humans at work need? (examples: appreciation, belonging, contribution and meaning) Using this knowledge doesn’t require a makeover, so find what adjustments would work for you and your people both – so that they will WANT to work with you.

Consider that Human employees are good for business. Meeting the Human needs of your employees may actually result in a better outcome for the business. I can’t underline enough the value of Human discretionary energy. This is what makes the impossible happen.

As a society, we have come to a point where people too often treat one another as objects and opportunities, rather than as fellow human beings. Respecting one another as individuals, or not doing so,
seriously impacts the future, for all of us.
- Gail Purcell Elliott

One day our society and the world will grow and prosper in a whole new way because each employee does their work from a place of knowing they play a legitimate role and truly make a difference. My wish is that one day we all embrace the belief that there is an inestimable power and potential in Human beings treating each other Humanly.

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Do Makeovers Belong in Management?

Mary — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:42:58 +0000

Use Your Own Natural Approach to Manage People Easier

It’s clear that our culture likes big, dramatic makeovers. It’s no wonder that Extreme Makeover Home Edition is so popular. Or the Friday audience makeovers on the Today Show. But aside from the clear benefit of these examples, I don’t think we need makeovers everywhere. Something about them implies that before the big redo, everything about us was wrong. Not necessarily so.

Consider management of people. You have your own way of getting work done through your employees. Your own natural inclination drives how you work with the Human beings who report to you. When I say natural inclination, what I mean is, what occurs to you first – your 1st reaction – something you always don’t think is reasonable or actionable. What I know is that your natural inclination is not something to just toss off, and often holds a wise, powerful and authentic response.

Early in my career as a corporate employee I found myself challenging my supervisor. I didn’t like how he was cutting certain employees out of the loop around how their work was changing. One day in a staff meeting I put him on the spot to share said information. Afterward he came to my office, shut the door and proceeded to tell me (in a VERY loud) voice that I would never be management material, and BTW, just “whose side are you on?”

Granted, the way I handled the staff meeting was not my finest moment, but I remember thinking, “If this is what it takes to be a manager, I’m going to keep on treating people like Human beings and take my chances.” I suspect my former supervisor would say I needed a makeover. But in retrospect “I” realize that, despite my rough start, there was a nugget of something wise and powerful in my natural inclination. I was committed to treating people at work like Human beings. This is where I start.

Over time I also learned that I was committed to proving that employee could be treated as Human beings while making the organization and business successful at the same time. And I strongly believe that treating employees as Human beings significantly contributes to making the business successful.

Through my own experience, and after coaching hundreds of managers, I found that our natural inclination to resolve “people management” issues often starts with one focus, but the issue is only resolved effectively by looking at all relevant stakeholders, which I consider to be Employees, Self and Organization (see model below).

Natural Management Decision-Making Approach 3-Part Model™

For me, the key is to increase the area of convergence of all 3 domains. But that can be difficult to do without practice. If we have to start somewhere, why NOT start with your natural inclination? If we dismiss it too soon, and without thought, our management will feel uncomfortable, contrived, stilted. We’ll never get the experience of truly weighing our options. Nobody does their best trying to be something they are not. It’s not good for us or the stakeholders we serve. Ultimately I’m glad I didn’t “cave in” to the makeover and stuck with my natural inclination. Eventually someone thought I was management material , and you probably are too.

BTW, I’ve developed an assessment titled, “What is Your “People Management Personality™?,” so that you can begin to uncover your own wise and powerful natural inclination to approaching people management issues. (This assessment, based on my 3-part model, is currently available to you at no cost.)

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Congratulations, You’ve Got People! Part 2

Mary — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:20:42 +0000

OR, The Road to Heck is Paved with Good Intentions

Jump to Part 2 here

Part 1 – From January 25: You’ve worked hard. You’ve been looking forward to actually leading your own team. You’ve had supervisors you look up to, who inspired you. Or maybe you had supervisors who made you think, “Surely I can do better than that…”

You may been given training, coaching and advice. Or you may have been sent on your way with the unspoken message, “Go forth and lead.” But how do we really learn what we need to know about getting work done through people, as their supervisor. I have my theories, but I wanted to hear what other managers had to say.

Part 2 – February 1: Even though the survey is closed. I invite you to add your comments to this blogpost (further below poll results – note: the poll may take about 10 seconds to load.)

You Might Be Asking What This Has to Do With Anything, Anyway

What I know is that, as managers of people, we craft assumptions based on what we believe, what we value, what we observe and the expectations that have been communicated to us, intentionally or unintentionally. And, the result of making decisions based on an unexamined foundation can range from inconvenient to dire.

The Road to Heck is Paved with Good Intentions

For instance, it might seem like the right thing to do to fight for a high performance rating for all of your employees until your team pushes back on you that Sally isn’t pulling her weight. How do you tell her she has performance improvement needs without her asking why this is the first she is hearing of it? And after all, just a few months ago, via her performance rating, you told her she was meeting expectations. You communicated some version of, “Just keep doing what you’re doing.” Now you’re in a fix. Do you endure the prospect of losing the respect of your team members or the discomfort of telling Sally the truth, or both? Not to mention the difficult position that you’ve put the organization in if Sally’s performance doesn’t improve, and she needs to be held accountable to that. Your employer may have to support your decisions in litigation, if worst comes to worst. Good intentions can sometimes backfire, in great and small ways.

How Do You Sort Through The Seemingly Conflicting Expectations of You, as a Manager of People?

As a manager, you have your own natural inclination in response to a situation. When I say “natural inclination,” what I mean is, what occurs to you first – your 1st reaction – something you often don’t think is reasonable or actionable. What I know is that your natural inclination should not just be tossed away, and often holds a clue to a wise, powerful and authentic response. When I coach managers, I like to start there, and then dial in other areas that do not come as naturally. I use this model which focuses on these 3 domains:

ORGANIZATION – This domain includes the foundational expectations that your boss, the organization and your employees have of you, that are often taken-for-granted, and sometimes even unspoken. And then, when you see these expectations, you can compare them to what seems right and true to you, and begin to work through any conflict this causes you.
SELF – Leading and managing people is not a cookie-cutter thing. The way you approach it is unique to you. It’s important to get clear on your own process. Once you are clear on this, and also the unspoken expectations of the organization, you can more confidently think through and adjust your decisions and interactions as necessary based on the needs for the unique situation.
EMPLOYEES – The importance of addressing the Human needs of people at work is often disregarded, if not outright dismissed. I find there are four basic Human needs that we can’t help but bring to work, and which are appropriate to have met at work: appreciation, belonging, contribution and meaning. These components of Human nature can easily be leveraged to grow employee initiative and satisfaction.

When you begin to examine your decision-making process, and the foundation on which it is built, your management of people will stop feeling like so much effort, or a guessing game. You will be coming from a place of power (the good kind), from the inside, which no one can take away from you.

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Hear the Clip! Do You Think There are Some Employees You Just Can’t Motivate?

Mary — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 19:50:04 +0000

…Don’t Make This Common Manager Mistake

As a former HR Manager, and long-time coach, I’ve found 5 common mistakes I see managers of people make over and over that create a rut of overwhelm, confusion, and frustration. These mistakes practically guarantee you’ll keep struggling against yourself and your employees. By avoiding these mistakes you’ll allow yourself and your employees to grow, advance, and deliver on your commitments to the organization.

Here’s a brief recording (less than 3 minutes) where you can hear about one particular mistake I see managers of people make all too often − thinking there are some employees that you just can’t motivate.

And, as a bonus for those of you new to this material, you can also listen to the entire 54-minute teleseminar here, “3 Keys to Being a More Effective Manager: Work With Human Nature to get More Done through Your Employees and Treat Them Well at the Same Time,” (held Jan 14, 2010). This is the material the “One Mistake” was excerpted from, and will give you more context.

Oh, and be sure to check the Training Events Section for upcoming classes related to this material.

Best Regards,
Mary

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